Originally Posted by
highfunction 
Everyone has flaws..and I do have hope that if I'm firm about not drinking with him and find things that he enjoys doing that don't involve drinking...maybe it will help.
Alcoholism is a lot more than a "flaw," like leaving the toilet seat up, or the cap off the toothpaste. It's also something that you have
no control over. And I promise you, the harder you try to control it, the crazier you will get.
Originally Posted by
highfunction Yes, another concern of mine is the progression of the disease-- but how could I think of leaving him now because he might end up changing later? That's just silly!
Silly? Maybe. But alcoholism is very serious stuff. Leaving him now may not be the right course of action in your mind, but I would strongly encourage you to educate yourself about his disease. Also, learn about codependence and enabling. It is
very likely it will get a lot worse, not just a
might.
I was with my alcoholic husband for 18 years. He was very high functioning and we had a good marriage for the first 13 or so. Those last five years were utter hell, though. I slowly became someone I didn't even know, and I didn't like myself very much. I wish I would have understood more about the disease and my part in it sooner. I wish I wouldn't have put my kids through those last five years. I wish I would have gotten help for myself a lot sooner.
Have you ever heard the story about the frog in the pot of water?
L