Hi crystal - for all the people that you are now "losing" there are potentials for new people in your life, that will get you and may become your new best friends. I know, I know, it sounds tiring but its a gift you deserve.
The fact that you no longer want to be around toxic people is a sign of your progression.
PROGRESS not perfection. Real change is slowwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I hope you can get to therapy as someone who can guide you through this process is priceless.
Also, we are always alone, even when in a relationship. I have learned lately the only way to feel less alone is feeding my soul with beauty, with art, with nice music, with landscapes... basically, to talk to HP, take my time to see it, touch it, breathe it, listen to it.... THAT is what I was lacking. I hope you find a similar feeling according to your religion or viewpoints about your place and importance in the world...
Hugs