oh geez, be kind to yourself! You've only been at this for a little while. Making that decision to focus on yourself is a huge one...tackling all the *stuff* that comes with taking a little tour inside your brain is even bigger.
I don't want to play armchair therapist here, but just from reading your post and from a total outsider's point of view, it seems you've spent a good deal of time and energy on other people, and perhaps not enough on yourself.
It's going to take some time to rebuild some healthy habits and stress coping mechanisms. Be gentle with yourself, especially when you feel depressed. I second the suggestion that you find some individual counselling. After the end of my marriage, it did me a world of good to have an hour a week where I could explore and vent all I wanted.
Yes, there will be old codie habits to deal with, but I strongly recommend Al-Anon, SR and journaling to counter those habits. There was a time that I posted here ten times a day about various stuff, just because I needed to know someone was there, listening, understanding. Eventually, my posting tappered off.