Find an Al-Anon meeting and go to it. The fact that a person can treat you this way, any person, yet you will "yearn for a kind note or picture from her," is mind-boggling to me.
I have a gift for you once given to me by another:
Find a meeting in Florida
Also, you may consider working with a therapist to find out what attracts you to women who are emotionallly and/or geographically unavailable.
Lastly, I'm in the tribe too, and you know it's very rare to encounter alcoholism in our community. There's a problem here. A big problem.
Take care, and take what you want and leave the rest.
Cyranoak