Sounds so familiar to me...wow...the text saying you don't have to reply, and then another and another...big babies who aren't getting what they want.
I read something so helpful in the AA Big Book about self will run riot. They want what they want and will be nice, and then nicer and then not so nice. Just to get their own way.
Stay strong...you are so right, nothing has changed. And as I have learned, when there is active alcoholism, love is not enough. So he loves you, so you love him...so what? He has to love himself enough to get sober and stay sober.
You have stated your terms, he knows what they are, he just doesn't think you are serious.
Take care of you...I know how frustrating and hard and sad this all is. I promise you it gets better if you focus on yourself. It got better for me.