Again, you are going through what I went through. I can only tell you what I did... I had to realize that this was not going to be a 'normal' relationship so the normal rules weren't going to apply. I did what made me feel happy. If I wanted to talk to him, I'd call, if I didn't then I'd keep my distance. Honestly he really confused me but he wanted someone to really care and be there but knew he couldn't give back. So it made him feel bad. I didn't want that to happen so I tried to be there as best as I could until he trusted that I wasn't going to judge him or reject him because of his recovery.
The thing is, it is hard to care about someone when you are learning to care about yourself. That is what recovery is, learning to deal with yourself and emotions without drinking. Add someone elses feelings into the mix and it is a lot to take on. As much as he may want it, he is smart to know his limits.
It boils down to what you are willing to accept. I wouldn't put your needs on the back burner though. I did that and paid an emotional toll. Be honest with him. If contacting him or texting would get your hopes up for more then by all means tell him. I bottled things in just to not rock the boat and it wasn't fair to either of us. Now I express my feelings so that he always knows what is going on with me.
Whether it is a relationship, boyfriend or whatever doesn't matter as long as the two of you share something, make it into what you both need. Going slowly is a GOOD thing and hard if you really care about someone but in the end it is the best approach.