Crystal, you are doing so well
I have been through the same thing, and I know that I need to be strong enough to take each day as it comes, without all the "what-ifs" that occupy my mind at times. The more time goes by, the easier that is.
I believe that if I work on myself, and I allow my exabf to work on himself, in time, my higher power will give me the answers I do not have at this time.
If your AH means what he says, then no matter what you say or do...he will follow through.