Red,
Sorry for your troubles.
My ex was in a facility that let him call me all the time for the 28 days he was there. His place was around 30K month and located in West Palm Beach, FL. Very fancy and all that, but he drank 2 weeks after coming home and continued drinking during the follow up outpatient thing back home.
I really think that folks here who talk about needing to be done and then quitting are really in the only successful mindset. WE, the fancy facilities and our families cannot make them or convince them to quit drinking or be responsible. Some people are just that way.
With this said, I don't have kids but had a very mentally ill mom. My dad divorced her and my sister and I grew up with him. It wasn't ideal and I know it was hard on him, but we survived without major trauma.