hi redbaron-
i totally agree with suki...you don't have to take the calls. she's trying to manipulate you...that is an abosolutely ridiculous proposal of hers to hire a nanny to care for the children in case she drinks! why can't their mother care for them should be the question she is asking herself.
i agree with suki. hang tough. if you don't want to talk to her, you don't have to. what is your boundary here? if i was you, i would block her number on the main phone line, and buy a pay as you go mobile phone. with this phone, you can set a time for her to call and speak to the children. say mon, wed, fri at 7pm. turn on this phone only at the agreed to hour.
set your boundaries and protect your family. she is not thinking straight. it's up to you now.
naive