Awe WildBucky, I'm sorry that life has disappointed you.
But the good news is that your recovery is SHINING in your post. So you misplaced the tool box for a spell, but i sounds like you have it back, and have opened it and begun to use the tools you gained a while back.
Most of us here have had life slap us right across the face at times. The difference between many of us, and the "normies" or "earthlings" is that we see ourselves as a player in the problem. Trust me, that in itself is a gift, not a curse, because we can take the steps possible to lead a happy fulfilled life.
We aren't damaged, we're just aware
(((Hugs)))