Thread: Lost my way
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Old 12-03-2010, 03:11 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
lightseeker
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Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
I really am sorry for your experiences but I'm betting it will spur you on to continue on your recovery process. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and you will use this recent experience to be a motivator on taking good care of yourself.

I divorced one addict and knew that the problem was him. At that time I had never heard of Alanon. I knew that I was caught up in a bad experience that had nothing to do with me. Then I remarried....a man with a hidden addiction. That is when the light went on for me and I realized that although "they" might have a problem that I have an equal problem. That marriage ended and I spent some time in Alanon. I figured that I had graduated from that and moved on with my life. That was my BIG mistake. Like a substance or alcohol addiction, my issues are lifelong and I need vigilence and an active program to avoid missteps. I learned the hard way by marrying another addict...geeez. I get it. I tend to look on the bright side, believe in people, and trust them. All good qualities but not in combination with a desire to be connected and in a relationship. Somehow things get blurry for me and I definitely need the help of a program to stay sane.

This husband has been sober now for 5 years but I have to use my program daily to keep in touch with "me". As difficult as my life with him as been it has also given me the gift of meeting myself.

You are not alone at all with what has occurred. My experiences have served to explain to me that it is issues within me that attract and respond to people with addictions and issues. My prayer is to stay awake to that glitch that blinds me in those areas in others. The best way for that to happen (for me) is to stay active in recovery.

Thanks for sharing your story!
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