wildbucky - i am sorry to hear that your first venture out after getting out of a bad situation did not turn out well - you are so right that dealing with an addict(or anyone) in those ways causes you to forget who you are and leaves you vulnerable - i spent many years before my son became an addict in a situation that created the same weaknesses in me - it is a profound situation - thank you for sharing your experience - i pray you will find balance in your life before you move into other situations - blessings