New here and looking for help and guidance!
Hello everyone. For the past few months I have been dating a recovering alcoholic. He has been honest and upfront about his recovery and about everything for that matter. He told me early on when we first met that he was still a "beginner" to AA and that they suggest that he does not date for the first year. I started doing some research on alcoholism and made the decision to support him in his recovery. We hung out, went shopping, went to dinner, watched movies and we found ourselves having feelings for one another. We had a long open discussion about it and he felt that he would be okay dating me since it happened so naturally. Things have been wonderful for 2 months. He regularly goes to his meetings, we talk about his recovery, and have great conversations. Sunday we were supposed to decorate the Christmas Tree together and begin the holiday season and we were both excited about it. On Sunday afternoon he called me and said that we needed to talk. He came over, held me in his arms and told me that he has come across some sort of block and can not invest emotionally in me. He told me that I am everything he is looking for and that he truly wants to be able to invest emotionally and for us to be together, but right now he can not. But then he told me that he still wants us to be friends and that I have been such a great support to him and does not want to lose that. Of course I want to support him in any way I can and I will do so...but at the same time, I need to take care of myself and heal from the hurt. So, I guess I'm looking for some advice as to how to handle this situation. How do I support him, be his friend, provide the "normalcy" we have spoken about when we do things together? I did a little bit of reading online and it seems this is not uncommon for recovering alcoholics to act this way and that you just need to give them their space and they will find their way back. I'm very confused, care about him deeply, want to continue to be part of his support system but don't know what to do. Can anyone help?