Welcome, Welcome, Welcome!
So glad you have decided to post and seek support.
Congratulations on your recovery!! If I had a wish for you it would be that you put your sobriety through recovery above all else. No relationship is worth jeopardizing that.
That said, I understand fully the need to dig and dig until the person you love comes back to the surface. I dug for 10 years and only caught site of my XABF on occasion. Considering he drank from early on in our relationship, I often wonder if I ever really saw him at all. Sad.
There are others here who can speak to sobriety and how to stay true to your recovery, but as a codependent myself, I know how hard detachment is. It's for your health and his that you try. Al-Anon can help you put your tools from AA into a different perspective. While only addicts can help other addicts in recovery, they aren't helping when they turn into codependents. That's a whole 'nother beast to be caged.
You are in the right place. You will find support and understanding here.
Keep posting. We're listening.
Alice