Is having a peaceful life too much to ask?
Hi my name is Jackie and I'm new here. I have been reading the posts for awhile now and I needed your perspective. I have been with my ABF now for 3 years. We met in AA when he was sober but he relapsed about a year ago. I moved in with him about the same time(big mistake) not realizing how much he drank. I get brief glimpses of the man I fell in love with but they are just glimpses. He used to be kind, considerate and patient. That is no longer the case. He drinks from the time he comes home from work until he goes to bed and all day on the weekends. The worst part is how much his personality changes. He becomes so angry, paranoid, and selfish! I tried doing all those things that codies do to make it better but obviously it's not working. I live outside of town and don't drive so when my ABF is drunk and on a rampage, I have nowhere to go to get away from it. I can't even enjoy the good times we have because I'm so worried about the bad times that I know are coming! But this isn't about him anymore, it's about me. I don't like the person I've become. I am so angry, resentful, frustrated and sad all the time and that didn't used to be me! I got sober to have a better, peaceful life, not the drama and chaos I live with now! As I said before, I've been reading the posts and all of you are so loving and compassionate and that's really what I need right now. Thank you for being here...