I had a nice long post typed here and then it went **poof**. Ah well, it happens.
It takes time to work out your feelings, and to come up with some options as to what to do. Most of us had to go thru that same process.
It is really sad that some of our members continue to find it necessary to share the same message over and over - some variation of "hi nice to meet you, what are you getting out of that relationship? You should just leave!" My recommendation is that you put those people on ignore for awhile. You can always go back and change that if/when you choose to.
I know that when I first got here, I was looking for answers. It took time for me to work thru some of my "stuff" and also to begin to understand the nature of the disease of alcoholism. Al Anon will tell you it's a disease of relationships that affects everyone around the A.
I still don't understand why some people here insist on telling you what to do. They forget how it was when they first got here, how frightened they were, how much they wanted their loved one to change back to the wonderful person he was before the drinking got out of control.
They forget everything they tried. Or maybe they just don't want you to have to go thru all the steps they went thru or learn the lessons they had to learn along the way. They take you right to the end with a smug know-it-all - here's what you should do.
The preferred method here is to share our own experience, strength and hope. I can tell you what I did and didn't do, what worked and what I learned along the way. After awhile, you might come to trust some of us a little bit as you learn more about us. You might ask some questions and get some feedback.
I'm sorry for the way you were "welcomed" here. It's not what SR is all about.
And I'll strongly caution others to read this. Again.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
Hugs and love to you, and welcome.
Cats
Forum Mod