A quick update...
The kids came home today from staying with my wife's parents over Thanksgiving while my wife was going into treatment. My mother in law came down and is staying for a few days, helping with the kids while I can get organized. She and my wife's sisters were meant to all be coming over to discuss what we should all do, but that fell through, and in a way, "what we should all do" is perhaps the wrong way to be thinking.
Apparently, there was a lot of discussion between them all about whether the best thing for me to do is to tell my wife not to come home, but my father in law is saying that they shouldn't express an opinion because if I then "throw her out" (not something that is legally possible, I suspect) and she kills or harms herself, they will feel guilty. Not a very helpful approach, although I do understand to some extent, and in any case, it's really my call, not theirs. I guess my concern is that the way this will likely play out in reality is that if she fights it, she'll just come home anyway and there'll be nothing much I can do about it UNLESS the whole family intervenes and insists that she go to some sort of sober living facility. If they're wobbly on that and it's just me, it's going to be a million times harder.
So, they are all punting and saying I should get professional advice from someone who understands alcoholism. I'm going to do that, but after a few days of thinking about it more clearly and reading the wisdom on this board, it seems almost obvious: (1) The kids cannot be alone with her; (2) I cannot hire a nanny and expect them to, say, stop my wife from driving drunk and generally police her; (3) I cannot police her drinking myself with constant checks, searching the house, etc; (4) Therefore, the only option is that she cannot be in the house unless she's proven herself sober for a significant period of time. So, yes, I'll get advice, but short of my mother-in-law moving in for the next six months, I don't see anyway for my wife to be back here any time soon.