SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - 20 months sober and bf relapses for 2 days..what to do?
Old 11-29-2010, 02:53 PM
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hello-kitty
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
You are making lots of excuses for him as to why he relapses. The REAL reason he relapses is that he is an unrecovered alcoholic and nothing you do can help him recover. Nothing you do can cause him to drink. Nothing you do can stop him from drinking. He has to get there on his own, and it sounds like he has years of hard work ahead of him if he really chooses to fix himself and that's a big IF for now.

I am terrified of a roller coaster life of relapse.
Sounds like you are already living life on the relapse roller coaster. Unfortunately, we can't predict whether or not an alcoholic will relapse... or when an alcoholic will relapse. The only thing we do know for sure is that past behavior is a good predictor of future behavior... which doesn't bode well for where he is or the choices he is making right now when it comes to drinking.

My suggestion? Have you tried al-anon? Try working the program he is suppose to be working. Try focusing on yourself. Work through the codependent steps. Do what you wish he would do.

And be very very very cautious. What's the rush about jumping back into a relationship with him. Give yourself some space. Give him some space. Sounds like he could use some breathing room to get a grip on himself. And you certainly could use some before you commit yourself to a lifetime of chaos with an unrecovered alcoholic.

PS. I am confused why someone who just drank beer for 3 days would need to go to detox. I can understand having a pretty rotten horrible hangover and having to recover in bed, but I don't know that a trip to detox makes sense. Wierd that they would even take him after a 3 day binge.
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