Numberseven,
Clearly you are welcomed to post here on SR. I have found that SR offers loving support and comfort each of us needs and deserves. We gain strength and confidence. We learn that we are not really unique, and we find hope for ourselves by the understanding, encouragement and help offered here. SR is a "we" program, where we come together for mutual help. SR accepts us for who we are.
You wrote, "We have been taking turns hosting Christmas and this year is his year to host. We have heard nothing about this event yet and over the weekend heard from another sister who is rather upset because no one else has checked with him about when it will be or where. We told her it was not our job to watch over him and make sure he is doing what he should do." Maybe, just maybe, she wants her family of origin to be together for Christmas, and that was where she was coming from. Maybe she, also, feels the frustration of your alcoholic brother and his lack of concern of planning your traditional Christmas gathering.
If I was you and wanted the traditional Christmas gathering this year, then the best bet would be is for your other siblings and you to plan the event. I wouldn't expect your
alcoholic brother to take on this responsibility.
An expectation is a premeditated resentment. The higher the expectations, the lower the serenity. I try to keep my boundaries high, my expectations low, and my heart
open. Learn to give from your overflow rather that from your reserve. This is self care, we learn to let go of burdens we were never meant to carry. Learn to ask, “What is the best thing for me?” It is futile to spend time trying to figure out what makes some one else tick. Learn to live with the “disease” that comes when you stop something and practice new behavior, the feelings will pass. Anger can be constructive in telling me that someone else is stepping on some boundaries that I need to enforce. The only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is in how you use them.
A journey of a 1,000 miles begins with the first step.
On the Steps:
Willingness comes from the pain, the healing comes from the steps.
Step 1. Surrender
Step 2. Sanity
Step 3. Serenity
There is a difference between “relief” and “recovery”.
Steps 1-3 bring relief
Steps 4-9 bring recovery..
Steps 10-12 maintain it…
Steps 6 & 7:
Step 6 Be willing, Be ready and let God do the work
Step 7 Humbly ask (acknowledge who I am in relation to God)
Recovery is a program that is meant to be worked with another and with God.
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