God can't do it all. It's up to you to make the choices. We beat up ourselves the best, so all I will advise is to put the bat down. Pray, and try to do better. I can offer a suggesstion <-- always looks weird when i spell this word iunno =/ . Look at what makes you want to do these things. I know before I called my dealer when I would relapse, there was a process of events and choices I made before this came, and sometimes it was days prior. Try to identify your patterns and where they lead. Try to establish a better connection with your Sponsor and network? Which pretty much means pick up that phone when you know you are in trouble. Cell phones saved my life. =] And continue to do so everyday.
God Bless.