hi keith-
hard to tell from what you've shared, really. i don't think two maritinis and a grand marnier at the end of the day makes an alcoholic. you'd find out soon enough if you lived with her for a couple of weeks. since you are separated by coasts, she could be drinking a lot more when you're not around.
at the end of the day, tho, it doesn't matter. if your emotional needs aren't being met in the relationship, then that's enough, no?