Originally Posted by
wicked 
I didnt really think I was doing this until I stopped receiving emails.
I thought WTF? Where is he now? I have been there for awhile now, and then I realized he was doing all the leaning. All the leaning.
Dammit.
This foolish feeling is still there. Like I have been tricked. I guess I fooled myself.
He is not an alcoholic, but now, I wonder if something else is wrong there that I have refused to look at.
Sigh.....
I still "know" I deserve better than this.
I NEVER thought I was doing it WHILE I was doing it, lol. I was just being a "good person."
It's totally subconscious with me. It comes from growing up in a family where I had to earn love. It wasn't just given to me for being me. (The perfectionist thing comes from the same place, BTW.)
You're right. You do deserve better. So why are you wasting brain space on this guy.
L