Welcome to SR, Redbaron. I'm afraid I can't really offer advice on how to detach from the A when kids are involved. I don't think I did detach while still with STBXAH (soon-to-be-ex alcoholic husband). I left with DS (dear son) and only now am working on really detaching. I'm not saying that's your only option, just saying it's what I did. There are others here at SR who can offer their experience, support and hope, on detaching while still with an A.
I really like the book "Letting Go with Love" by Julia H. It's helped me quite a bit. Not so much about the dealing with an A when kids are involved, but just detachment in general.
DS is 6. I'm making sure he knows how to dial my cell phone number and 911 (and that 911 is for when the police, firemen or ambulance are needed). We have a plan in place in case of fire or very generally 'other danger'. I'm hoping the counselor I've recently started taking him to for help processing the separation and divorce can do additional safety planning with him.
Maybe it will help both you and your kids to do some similar safety planning. Let them know that while they can't control whether their mom drinks or not, they're not completely powerless: they can call you, or a grandparent, or a neighbor; or they can go to one of those houses, if nearby, and have a grown-up call you.
Wishing you strength and peace.