Why do we have to feel so sad?
Just had a visit with my AO when he brought our son home. He did a few things around the house for me, visited with the kids which they really enjoyed. My 3 yr old son screamed like a banshee when he left, my two girls voiced over and over how they would like to go visit him, me? I feel like a pile of sh** actually. I'm fighting feeling a little resentful as to how he can win the kids over so easily when I have had ALL the responsibility of taking care of them since he walked. He wants to get back together, says he loves us and he's sorry and all that. He's into church, he's working, just has no money. I'm willing to try to work it out, I do still love him but he hasn't acknowledged he has a alcohol and drug problem and he has'nt shown financial responsibility yet. (He's asked for gas money both times he's come down here and hasn't sent any money to us since he left, theres always an excuse) Those are my conditions and I can't back down. I wrote him one letter 2 weeks ago that stated I thought he needed to get help for his addiction and become financially responsible, I'm leaving it up to him. I know he has to make the decision. I don't think he gets it that I won't go any further unless those two conditions are acknowledged and being activly worked on. I nearly lost my sanity last time, I won't do that again. Can he possibly NOT know? Cause if he does know why does he keep trying? Is he just thinking I'll take him back anyways if he tries hard enough? Somedays I think I have it pretty well figured out and then I find that I really know nothing. That hurts. Well I've stood my ground yet again, it sure isn't getting much easier yet. Sorry for the rant, I seem to be pretty good at that. Hugs to y'all, I'm sure I'll feel better in the morning. Teggie