Thread: Anger/Recovery
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Old 11-27-2010, 07:21 PM
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SarahG
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 26
Anger/Recovery

My husband is a spending addict. This is something I have finally accepted, in the last couple of weeks. He's started attending Debtor's Anon meetings, handed over the family finances to me, given me his debit card. He's trying to recover - at least I think so. Of course, there is a huge, huge part of me that doesn't trust him.

I have read that to help him through his recovery, I have to be supportive. Okay, fine. But how do I do that when I'm still so, so angry at him? I don't want him to touch me, don't want him to tell me his problems, don't want to hear if he's had a rough day. I want him to be sorry, and show that he's sorry. I want him to acknowledge that he screwed up big time, and that he knows I'm PO'd, and that he has a lot of ground to make up. (He says the words, but it's going to take a lot more than words to convince me.)

How do I reconcile those two things? I know he needs support, but when do I get to have my feelings count? Because of his debting, there is no $$ for private counseling. His DA group only has 4 members (including him), and there's no spouse or family meetings, like Al Anon. I have a very poor support system - only child of two alcoholics. I feel like I'm suffocating, just stuffing all these feelings down.
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