Jack,
You know the 5 stages of grief, right? The last one is acceptance. I see bargaining, anger, sadness...but not yet acceptance on your 'wish list' and that is ok.
It's only been 3 weeks. That's a very short time to start feeling different emotions than when you were still with your H. But the change will come. Each day focus on the quiet when you get up, play music that soothes you as you drink your coffee and check your emails, think how everything is right where you put it, how there are no disagreements with H over what tv station to watch, how the bed covers are messed up just how you like them.
These peaceful things are the beginning of how to distance yourself from the anger. You create your peace in your own space.
The second thing is the acceptance. That won't kick in until you have no hope of salvaging the marriage. But you can work on getting to a happy place for you! A place where you are happy whether the marriage survives or not. A place where you are happy with yourself. That is something you can do something about. Him, you can do nothing. So remember where your power lies.
I understand not wanting to socialize much. It took me months to want to. I actually enjoyed to a great degree the time I was alone. Naturally sometimes I was lonely and wanted an instant fix to that, and that was when it was frustrating. But when you don't want to complain and share your personal problems, sometimes being alone is a blessing.
You have to remember he hasn't changed anything significant. Reuniting without fixing anything would be the madness all over again. A partner that refuses marriage counseling has told you all you need to know. Arrogant, obstinant. What does he have to give with those personality traits raging?
If you manage to stay low contact, and don't hold your breath for him ever, but concentrate on finding that place where you are happy with yourself, so will be happy no matter what the outcome, you will find your way to your peace. His going out on the town or whatever, isn't going to solve any of his issues, and none of the marriage issues. So don't even bother thinking about him going out with his family. He could be an absolute success in many ways in life, but intimacy in a marriage isn't one of them.
Find the place where you are happy with YOU. You can do that...it is in your power.