Hi librarygoddess, and welcome to SR!
My thoughts are what kind of support are you getting for yourself as far as the effects that his alcoholism has had on you?
Alanon is a wonderful place to find face-to-face support among those who understand. It has certainly been a lifesaver for me, and although we no longer have Alanon meetings in my small town, I still practice the principles of Alanon in my daily life.
I'd like to recommend the book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. It's an excellent starter book.
There are also 3 C's that are important to remember:
You didn't cause his alcoholism.
You can't control his alcoholism.
You can't cure his alcoholism.
Educate yourself further on alcoholism. There are a lot of good 'sticky' topics posted at the top of this forum to read if you are interested.
I was married to an alcoholic/addict, I have a 32-year-old daughter who's active in addictions, and I am also in long-term recovery from my own alcoholism/addictions.
Please take good care of yourself. I hope you continue to post, and know that you are among friends, okay?