Summerpeach
The sad part about it was that after she left me I felt as if my life was over. I sort of gave up on life and immersed myself into heavy drinking and using. I was more or less suicidal and wanted to go out with a bang, and I don't mean from a gun. What got me to sober up was that on this past new years I woke up in the guest room of one of my friends house who lives about 30-40 miles away from where I live. I had no idea how I got there. Apparently I spent $100 on a cab ride to get over there and bought an 8ball of blow and consumed most of it in a period of 3 hours, the rest I shared with my buddys. I had drank myself into a blackout and was very lucky to be alive. It was a wake up call to me. It made me realize that the path of self destruction I was on was not fair to my kids. I was being very selfish as not to hang on for them. Also I thought if there ever was a chance of my wife taking me back there would be no way in hell she would with the way I was living. My kids are everything to me, the reason for my sobriety. They need there father and I can't be so selfish as to live for me and only me. I live my life for them. I'm very sorry that your husband felt that he was entitled to cheat on you. The girlfriend I mentioned I cheated on, well it was for the same reason. The girlfriend I had previous to her cheated on me. Infidelity hurts the one who gets cheated on. But in the long run, its the cheater who is the one that hurts.