Hi
opportunity.
to Sober Recovery (SR). I am so glad you are going to Al-Anon. Al-Anon literally saved my life. And changed it too. For the better. Much better.
What immediately came to my mind when reading your post was that people, and especially kids, need stability, predictability, and boundaries. I am an adult child of an alcoholic father and from my perspective, looking back, I see that I did not have those things growing up in an alcoholic home. And I believe that not having those things growing up has affected me tremendously.
Here on SR we likely every day say to one another, "Look at the behavior, not the words." Usually, we are referring to the alcoholic. But I think it goes both ways. The action you are taking to remove the sickness from your and your children's lives sounds like the healthier choice to me. Your children may not be able to understand this or understand what is best for them. You may want to look into Alateen for them.
Sorry I am unable to answer your question. I hope something I have said here is helpful.