Thank you people for the comments. They really do help. I'm pretty much alone here. Me and my 19 year old son, who lost his mom to leukemia at 6. I constantly think about all this "stuff" so much it really overwhelms me at times. Just getting it off my chest is relief in itself.
I have already thought about what most of you have said. (especially her feeling guilty about my sobriety) she told me months ago she wished she didn't ask me to go into rehab. The thing is, I start to question my own "thinking"