Originally Posted by johndelko408

Being the one who was the cheater it bothers me to read the posts about cheating spouses. Not because it reminds me of me but because we can be so heartless to do such things. I used to ask my wife for sex and when she wasn't in the mood I'd say fine. I never actually had an affair, one night stand in fact I never slept with another woman. I knew already that it would be meaningless because I there wasn't any love there, it would be purely sexual. If my wife didn't want to have sex I would jump in the shower and satisfy my desires myself. I was the attention seeker type cheater, I would go out and flirt with women to make myself feel desirable to the opposite sex. This doesn't make me unless guilty. I was still being unfaithful, I just wasn't pulling my junk out. This type of cheating I say is just as bad as having an affair. Why? Because I wasn't being emotionally faithful and I was leading the woman I was flirting with on. I was bringing my confidence up and at the end of the night when it came time to exchange numbers or whatever I would say "no I don't want your number and you can't have mine". At the time I really think I was doing anything wrong. My confidence would go up, and I'm sure it made the other woman feel like crap, brought her confidence and made her feel like less of a person. At the time I really didn't think I was being unfaithful either. But now when I look back upon it I can see that what I was doing was so wrong on many levels. The pain and suffering I feel now is what I deserve for my infidelity. For anyone else out there that is in a relationship and sees nothing wrong with flirting let me be the first to tell you it is. It's just as wrong as having an affair. We are not any less guilty just cause we didn't have a sexual relationship. It's emotional cheating. My wife told me a quote that made me realize this when I was trying to explain myself, when I was trying to say I didn't cheat. This is the quote, "flirting is cheating's ugly cousin". I was messing with the ugly cousin. To all the woman who have had A-hole spouses and boyfriends like myself, I can't fix anything by saying I'm sorry. The only thing I can do is to make sure I never act like the selfish ass that I was during my drinking and using. I don't ever want to hurt anyone again, especially a woman. A man can't bring life into this world on his own, it takes a woman and a man. My opinion on women is forever changed because of my past mistakes. My life is "strait edge" now, no drinking, no using and no promiscuity.