Also it may sound bad but when I ask myself this I imagine that yes he is as drunk as usual in the same bar as usual. There he is.Sitting there. Drinking. Nothing has changed for him really and there's nothing I can do. Nothing the barman can do. Nothing his friends can do. No one can do anything about it. This helps letting go.. BTW "The Language of Letting go" is a GREAT Melody Beatty book!!