View Single Post
Old 11-26-2010, 08:27 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
brokenheartfool
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 344
I know how you feel. I am in a similar situation. He calls me when intoxicated. That says to me that the sober him doesn't want to talk to me, only the intoxicated him wants to talk to me. When I called him, and caught him sober, he cut the conversation short. His anger is right there when sober.

Sometimes it feels like he is testing how to detach from me. He may use alcohol to numb, and the time apart as some test of his own strength to get over me.
Then he does little thoughtless things that I react to emotionally, and these things set me off, angry, upset, for a day each time. Meanwhile, he seems oblivious to that I have been hurt by these things, as if I am over-sensitive, or is it that he is under-sensitive.
The volitile roller coaster of emotions continues on, and it seems directly linked to his drinking, for both of us.
It's called codendency, and I'm reading the book codependent no more. You might want to pick up a copy yourself, cheap on amazon or ebay.
As much as I love him, talking to him again after a period of no contact for several months is making me realize that he sets me off every time I talk to him. For a day or two I am messed up all over again.
The relationship is toxic. We both desire to some degree to salvage what is left of it, but, at what cost?
Feeling vulnerable to his moods--either intoxicated and wanting to talk to me but not quite all there with me, or sober and curt. Talking to him is like sticking my hand down a hole in the ground and blindly waiting to see if I will be bitten by something. Not good.
brokenheartfool is offline