Well I hate this damn hurting. I am angry today. Angry that I let myself fall in love with him, angry that he told me everything would be ok, angry that he used to say the most lovely things but actions were another thing. What is wrong with me. I am lonely, I miss him - this man who SAYS he loves me. He is able to be sober around his young children and show them a good time. He talks to them. He talks to his ex wife, his brother, friends - but he has cut me dead - he said he will call in "a week or so". I KNOW I am my own worst enemy but I fell for him so badly and honestly believed him when he said that he felt so much for me. DAMNIT. I want this pain to go away.