Betrayal is such a painful thing.
I hope you find an Alanon group near you.
Computer sharing is great
and has saved countless minds here...
but 3-D f2f makes it 'real' in a big way.
I'm also glad to read that you're separated
and agree with anvil that tests are in order.
My second husband
turned out to be a child molester.
I know about betrayal.
and I know that this is a turning point for you.
I would like to add you to my prayers
and hope that a group is near for you.
The strength you will need
to make the changes permanent
the changes you know you are going to havef to follow through with...
... can be eased by the face to face support
(and thousands of cups of coffee after meetings)
that you can receive from fellow members of AlAnon.