I think I see what you are getting at Phoenix and I actually have a friend who lost her son for a year for failure to protect when her abusive boyfriend ended up being abusive towards her son. I don't want to lose them and even more than that I don't want them to end up getting hurt. I know full well my responsibilities to my children when it comes to letting my husband watch them and I really didn't until the other night see that they were at risk. I left him for his drinking in part to protect them from the daily effects of that and I guess I have had another big wake up call and I need to take it to another level. I guess I thought he could handle three hours...I was wrong. I am going to take the advice for supervised visits and any other good advice would still be appreciated. I think I will talk to his family about supervising so that they get a chance to see their grandkids more. Also I don't want to supervise because I am at a point in my own recovery that I need to stay away from the hooks of AH that keep me engaged...in order to detach I need space. I am also going to start documenting incidents and am going to photograph the condition of the house in case some kind of investigation or custody battle is in my future. Thanks everyone for being straight with me, sometimes we all need that.