Boundaries for my kids
Up until last night I thought my kids were safe spending time with my AH for a few hours in the evenings with him not drinking (well to him that just means one or two--I can smell it usually, but he says he isn't drinking). Then last night I show up to pick up my 2 year old. The five year old was going to stay the night (I ended up taking her with me). When I get there he is asleep (or passed out--who knows) on the couch and a bit hard to wake up. The house is trashed because he hasn't cleaned it at all since I left two months ago and my son is running around with a board with nails sticking out of it. I have no idea where he got it from, but it scared the sh** out of me. I confronted AH about it and he just retorted that it wasn't his board, that I left him and now I expect him to be perfect, and that it is not like I have never fallen asleep while watching the kids (true, everyone has, but the house was always at least kid proof and I am easily awoken--because I am not intoxicated). He also hadn't given the kids dinner and it was eight pm. I know I am not being unreasonable to think he should be supervising them during the three hours he has them and stay awake to be with them and to think the house should be clean and safe if they are going to be there. Now I don't know what to do. I really want my kids to continue having a relationship with him, but they need to be safe. Any ideas on some good, clear boundaries to set for visitation. I don't want to have to say supervised visits only so I want to try some "rules" first, but I don't know where to start. I NEED to keep my kids safe first and foremost.