I eat at night after everyone is in bed a lot and just in general when I'm not even hungry. Then I gain weight.
The counselor commented that some people eat like that to fill a spiritual hole and that if I work to fix that, the eating behavior would be much easier to adjust.
We didn't pursue that because at the time weight was falling off me because at the peak of my crazy anxiety of leaving my xah I couldn't eat at all but in the normal life stress, I eat like that.
So I moved and things settled down and now I've gained 40lbs. Ugh.
I'm glad things are falling into place for you. I shared that story just to remind you to not focus on the eating/weight so much, not focus on your dh so much, as focus on your continued recovery. The rest will be easier to address the further along you get with that.