Actions speak louder than words. Especially with alcoholics.
Re-reading your post, I see that his words were what I would want to hear and believe in getting into a relationship. I would want to believe my concerns were being validated and understood.
Yet, his actions don't match his words.
His words: I understand, I will respect your feelings, I am here for you
His actions: I don't understand your intensity, I can't handle your feelings, I can't be here for you.
I'm sorry you are in pain.
Can you do something loving/pampering for yourself today? A pedicure, a bubble bath?
I had to pull my self-esteem out of the gutter. It took time. I discovered I was worth the effort, tho!
One of the tools I used and still use is a book: You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay.
She helped me with the tools I need to re-build my self-esteem, one day at a time. She recommends positive affirmations. She was right on! I had used my own thoughts and self-doubts to tear myself down for years. Time to push out the negative and pour in the positive. One of my first favorites was to put this affirmation on a post it note on my bathroom mirror.
"I Love You and Accept You exactly as You Are!" Repeat it outloud while looking myself in the eyes at the mirror. Repeat throughout the day/week/month/year!
(((hugs)))