Update: Going to keep this letter for myself and instead have decided I am going to set a boundary on Wed. as clearly as I can when we go see our marriage counselor. Thanks for all the advice. I am going to tell AH that just quitting drinking is not enough (I explained in another post he agreed to quit, but only to get me back). He needs to be seeking help to address the issue and really be in recovery (not just quitting). I expect him to go through a treatment program, individual counseling, AA, or something formal AND quit drinking. If he follows through for one month and things are going well I will reconsider attending marriage counseling with him, but only with a marriage counselor with an addiction specialty (our current one does not have that and he doesn't seem to want to change to one that does). I know one month isn't a lot of recovery time and it isn't going to be enough to get me back in the house with him, but I feel that is a minimum before we try and start working on our marriage. I am tired of wasting time and resources and I am not going to do it anymore. I will go to Al Anon for me and maybe individual counseling, but no more working on the marriage with someone who isn't emotionally connected to it!