Hey Sean,
You're not alone buddy. My wife usually drinks a bottle of wine every night. Wouldn't be quite so bad if she didn't turn mean and become abusive to me and sometimes the kids.
I've only been going to meetings for about 1 1/2 months but I already see a difference in me (which is the point). She hasn't changed much, though but I still do get my hopes up a little bit on the occasions when she slows down.
It's only recently that I realize I've been walking on eggshells for a long time. Al-Anon is really helping with that.
I know how you feel about spending time with her. When my W is not drinking, I love to spend time with her. But, when she drinks I want to be anywhere but around her. It's sad because every time she drinks, I feel like she's putting a wedge between us.
I vacillate on how I feel all the time. Today, I want to stay with her and not tear the family apart. Then, there are times when she can tear the family apart all by herself.
I'm new to all of this and am still dealing with step 1! All I can say is to keep going to meetings. They say not to make any big decisions in the first 6-12 months in Al-Anon. I think that's wise in that you should only make those kinds of decisions when you are in a good place and things are clear in your mind.
Only you know when enough is enough for you. Please keep posting. You're not alone!