Thanks all, for your thoughts.
I know you're not supposed to give advice-- just wondering what other people have found works for them. I appreciate all the feedback.
I've done some reading, both AA/Al-Anon literature and some other things I found helpful. I have been to Al-Anon once and found it beneficial even just the one time. I may go back eventually...maybe I'll need to after this visit!
At this point the part that's hard for me is knowing what to say. As is typical with alcoholics my dad is pretty big into pointing fingers at everyone else's drinking habits so I'm trying to figure out whether having my husband and I not drink is playing into his addictions or whether it's just the right thing to do...kind of sounds like it's the latter?
Keep the replies coming!