Evenkeel I promise you this...
...if you go to an Al-Anon meeting with an open mind and a desire to be happier your life will improve. I resisted going for three years because I'm stubborn to a fault and had difficulty giving up controlling things in my way and without help.
Please, please, please be smarther than me-- if not for you then for your children. My daughter sufferred needlessly for three years longer than necessary because of my bullheadedness.