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Old 11-22-2010, 12:29 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Tally
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: England
Posts: 741
I was the same, every time he would say he was stopping or cutting back or not drinking during the day I would be so happy that he was trying to make things better and so hopeful that NOW things would change. After a while and after realising that he never meant it...or more like he may have meant it but could never follow it through, I started believing in him less and less, I didn't carry around that hope and expectation because I knew deep down that I would only feel let down and upset again.

Part of detaching was letting go of those expectations and using him as a crutch, something to make me feel better or worse...I stayed busy educating myself about addiction and codependency and started taking less notice of him and his drinking, I found I didn't feel as bad when he failed to cut back because I wasn't holding my breath and crossing every finger that this would be the time he would succeed.

To be honest, even when he did succeed and was dry for 2 years, nothing changed much.
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