BuffaloGal

At the meeting I go to from time to time... gracious, no. People may talk about what god is... and isn't... to them; but there is no judgment regardless. There are plenty of agnostics. Some people refer to god as "She" and no one laughs. Half the attendees at my first home meeting were openly gay-- it wasn't a Christian environment or they would never have attended.

Going back to your original post, though: Unfortunately, if it's your BF's choice to toss back a few before noon, it's idiotic, but not illegal. From his point of view, you called and got upset over his hobby-- it would be like him calling you and getting mad because you were knitting again, or watching "Days Of Our Lives." That would be your business, not his.

I'm not saying you're wrong-- you aren't, you're right to be concerned about it. I had to throw out my much loved but alcoholic husband not because of his drinking, but due to my reaction to his drinking-- I hated the person I became in response to his unutterably stupid choices. I could not stop him from making them. At the end, all I could deal with was the fact that he was hurting me and I needed the pain to end.

Your BF can only be helpless and dependent as long as there is someone to be dependent upon. This is coming from my own experience-- I am passive by nature, and did not begin to take care of my life in many ways until my husband was gone and I had to do it myself. There may be a perfectly competent person inside of him too.

Good luck and treat yourself well