BreakingGlass, I think I can relate to how you are feeling today. My niece from Northwest Iowa just died. I seriously gave it some thought about flying up there from South Texas for her services. I wondered if this was my opportunity to go back home, and leave my AH. I would have been able to receive cheaper costs on the airline tickets. However, I am basically disabled and would have needed assistance once I got up North, and I don't want to be a burden to anyone. I had to reach out to my nieces that I'm closest to, to let them know what my thoughts were. I find it very hard to let my "little secret" out.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.