sandladyvb

I was not a hugger or hand holder when I came into Al-Anon. It was foreign to me. Why wouldn't it be--I grew up in an alcoholic home and married an alcoholic. The last time I held hands in a circle was at Girl Scout camp singing "Taps."

I gritted my teeth through the handholding stuff and got used to it. Afterall, I could handle it as an eight year old. I could have stepped back from the circle to avoid holding hands. It isn't the hand holding that bothers me--it is the Lord's Prayer, which is a prayer associated with Christianity. So, I can hold hands with the group because I want to be bonded to them as part of the Al-Anon program but I don't won't say the prayer. That meets my personal needs.However, today the groups I attend close the meeting with the Serenity Prayer and the Al-Anon Declaration.


Al-Anon gives everyone choices-- and asked people not to hug me. I learned to speak up to say what my needs are instead of expecting members to second guess my needs for me. In other words, I am responsbile for me. I don't expect Al-Anon to change just because I don't like something. So, I adjust to what is happening and take actions that are best for me.