Hey Angie
I can certainly understand why you would have some anxiety in dealing with him. I can't remember how old you said he is or why you are payee for his disability checks. But it may be best for you to be permanently removed from the situation if you are afraid of him. No one should be forced to do something that they aren't comfortable doing. I suspect that anything I could think of, you've probably already tried but somehow, for your safety and security, it sounds like you need to do whatever you need to do to take care of you!
gentle hugs