Evenkeel you wrote I'm dreading Thanksgiving. At this point I'm ready to forego it altogether with MIL, just stop over and say Happy Thanksgiving but stay at home otherwise. I feel like if I'm in the same room as SIL for more than a minute I'll rip her head off. You can bet if she senses I'm angry at her she'll get in my face about it, and believe me, if she does it'll be ON...and it won't be pretty. Maybe I'm venting more than anything here and I know skipping Thanksgiving isn't the right reaction so can anyone suggest what to say if the "incident" comes up? If I know what to say I can simply say it and remove myself from the house if she forces the issue before it escalates, but I can't think of what to say and how to say it. She DOES have what you would call an alcohol issue, choosing alcohol (and recovering from alcohol binges) over her son regularly, alienating people by her drinking, using it as a coping mechanism for anything...and while I feel for her situation with her dad, it still doesn't give her an excuse to go out and get blasted and then take whatever her issue was out on someone else."
"What to do, what to do...? "What to do, what to do...?"
I want to ask
WHY isn't skipping Thanksgiving with your in-laws an option? You are
NOT the person who should feel guilty about the situation you described! You shouldn't be the person who has to feel responsible about how Thanksgiving Day turns out!
I've been there......and still have hostility towards my in-laws. In my ole days of co-dependency, and according to my AH, I was the one that was expected to be accommodating to my mother-in-law at my own daughter's memorial service. I was in complete
SHOCK after my daughter completed suicide, and, yet, they expected me to play the gracious little hostess! Thank God for my own sister and her family that helped hold me together during my darkest point in my life.
I suggest you and your own family start your own Holiday traditions. Maybe take yourselves out to a nice restaurant for the Thanksgiving meal, and afterwards go to the movies, or something else you enjoy!
If your in-laws want to know why......tell them!
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