well, after trying various methods and plans.....which all did not work.....i finally hit upon what worked for me.
after being what i have been through with the effects of alcoholism, i cannot stand to be around drinking of any kind. the sound of ice in a glass still makes me sick to my stomach and the sound of a beer tab being pulled makes me cringe. my problem, i know.
my sister is an alcoholic, and i practically raised her first child. she would ask me to watch her while she went to the store and i wouldn't see her for a week. which was fine with me, because i knew she was in a better place with me than with my sis.
i always insisted that she bring my neice to my house, so i wouldn't have to deal with her when she arrived home.....drunk.
she used to bring her hubs over to play cards with our group of friends and of course, it always turned into a drunken, psycho, brawl. none of the rest of the group drank, so they would bring their own.
i had a heart to heart with sis, and told her they were welcome to continue to come over, but from this point on, we were alcohol free card parties.
of course she really got angry and barely spoke to me for over 2 years.......but i still got my neice every week.
sometimes i worried so much about my neice that it didn't bother me at all when sis pulled her disappearing acts.
so far, in this point in my recovery, i am not ready to attend any function where there is alcohol. so that works for me.
and i put the odds in my favor by having my neice at my home.
i'm sorry that you are dealing with all of this.....another person affected by the effects of alcoholism.
as far as thanksgiving goes, i've never had to deal with drinking and the holidays because our family concentrates on food and all the goodies.
i do remember one time when my sis came to my home drunk for thanksgiving and i got her a ride back home. another year of not speaking to me. but i was very comfortable in doing so.
best to you